Finding Your Spiritual Path Through the Ego-Self

The topic of 'Ego-Self' is an important one and is one of the 4 key components of Shaolin Chan-Dao wisdom. Before continuing, we recommend you first study the previous three key components: Perceptions, Emotions, and Subconscious Partner.

This article will put you on a path to understanding who you are in this seemingly complex universe we live in. Who are you? What is life about? Why do we exist?

These are some of the most important questions for humanity, and guidance in answering these questions will give us meaningful purpose. It is a necessary step everyone needs to pursue wisdom and to find peace and happiness.

What is the Spiritual Journey?

Astronomy scientists continue to research our universe to understand how existence and life came to be. It tries to answer the question of ‘how did we get here?’.

Another way to think about existence is to ask ourselves, “Why am I here?”, “What is all this about?”, and “Why bother?”.

The Spiritual Journey is an adventure to understand yourself, others, existence, and the universe. Or, to put it another way, The Spiritual Journey is to understand your place in existence. We are all on this journey, whether we realize it or not. This includes people who do not care about this idea or reject it.

We can take a scientific approach, a philosophical approach, a religious approach, or some other approach. Depending on your upbringing and environment as well as lifestyle choices, you may have any number of approaches.

What is so interesting is that the Spiritual Journey is unique for each and every one of us. No one can say that the approach we want to take is wrong. There are only choices and perhaps a bit of luck (or karma for those who believe in it).

What are we supposed to do?

If Only It Were Clear…

If only we had a clear direction on why we exist! If we did, we would know how to live and be.

Religion is very important to many people as it provides guidance to many mysteries of life, such as birth, purpose, and death. It may provide some answers, but ultimately, there will always be more questions with no clear answers.

The complexity of our world and universe also makes things difficult and unclear. We are given knowledge through parents, school, books, and the Internet. The more we learn, the more perceptual layers we develop, the more ‘stubborn’ our mind gets, and the more likely we will have conflicting perceptual layers. We become confused about our purpose.

Does Existence Make Sense?

The perceptions of our existence come from our ability to rationalize what we see, touch, taste, smell, hear, and feel inside our mind and body.

As humans, we are wired to think logically, so let’s try asking ourselves some questions to see if we can prove or disprove that existence makes sense.

Starting Question:

Where does our existence come from?

Next Question:

Whatever answer you may have, you can then ask, “What force is behind the source of existence?”

Endless Loop:

Whatever answer you may have to the previous question, you can then ask, “What is behind that force?” and so on.

There is an infinite loop of questions that can never be answered because it is beyond the comprehension of human beings.

Therefore, from a human perspective, existence does not logically make sense because we will never be able to explain it clearly. We will always have unanswered questions.

If existence cannot be explained, then how can we know what our purpose is?

What is Clear

Existence itself is not explainable. Anyone who attempts to seek this answer will only cause suffering to themselves. Therefore, we can conclude that we are not meant to know the ultimate answer to existence.

As humans, we have a strong will to live and persist, and we must acknowledge that we are social creatures. We are not meant to be alone but rather share and thrive together so that we can make something of our lives.

Thus, the only thing that makes sense is that each of us needs to discover our purpose so that we can find fulfillment together.

The Ego-Self and Your Purpose

To understand our purpose, we need to first introduce the idea of the ego-self. What is the Ego-Self?

The ego-self explains the motivations and thought processes of what you do and say. It is shaped by your perceptions, emotions, and the Subconscious Partner. Your ego-self affects your needs, wants, and desires and dictates how you achieve them.

In other words, your ego-self determines what you actually do and say.

Our Spiritual Journey is defined by the understanding of existence and our understanding is determined by the ego-self.

As we make choices in life, we are affected by the events and challenges that arise. How we deal with them will determine the routes we follow. Some routes will feel like longer paths, while others will be shortcuts. Each path we take will further develop our ego-self.

Following this logic, we can then say that our purpose in life, or self-purpose, must be driven by our ego-self.

Let’s use the analogy of walking through a path in a dense forest to represent the Spiritual Journey.

As you walk through the forest, you may encounter various challenges. Perhaps there is thick vegetation, poison ivy, a stream or a lake, mud, or a dangerous animal.

You do not understand why you are here in this forest or what you are supposed to do. However, you feel compelled to venture forth.

As you walk forward, you make decisions about how to overcome each challenge but each path you take can lead to tougher or easier challenges. It is often not clear which path to take when it forks.

But as you walk, you learn through your observations and also through the results which affect your emotions and your Subconscious Partner.

And this continues to shape your ego-self, which then gives you clues as to why you are in the forest and what you are supposed to do.

The key here is that we make our own choices in life. We decide our environment, how we interact with others, and how we want to spend our energy each day. We can accept the events that arise, avoid them, or try to control them.

Thus, our self-purpose is whatever we do in life and is driven by our ever-changing ego-self. It includes the impact and consequences of what we do to our environment and to others.

The discovery and experience of our self-purpose then is the Spiritual Journey.

Why We Need Self-Purpose and What Gets in the way

We are not meant to sit around and do nothing with our lives. Our DNA says to keep striving, so if you listen carefully to your Subconscious Partner, you will discover that it is telling you to 'achieve more' self-purpose by finding fulfillment together (i.e. with others). Without a clear self-purpose, we become ignorant and prone to causing suffering to others.

If your Spiritual Journey is optimal, then it means you have no distractions in your entire life and you were able to cultivate yourself fully with meaningful impact in this world.

But we encounter things that delay or lengthen our Spiritual Journey, and we call these 'holes'.

In the analogy with the walk in the forest, these holes would be ideas such as taking very dark paths that make it difficult to see, walking through mud which is very slow and even dangerous, and getting distracted by things you find in the forest.

They are analogous to our ego-self making decisions and acting that causes unwanted delays, dangers, and complications. These holes make it difficult to progress our ego-self and Spiritual Journey.

We may even find ourselves in such a deep 'hole' that we are blinded and cannot even see the need for self-purpose. We use this convenient metaphor of 'holes' to help us organize our thoughts and leverage its teachings.

There are several categories of holes: 1) Perceptual-Belief Holes, 2)Emotional Holes, and 3) Subconscious-Partner Holes.

Let us explore these distracting holes that appear in our lives by studying how they relate to our perceptions, emotions, and the Subconscious Partner.

Perceptual-Belief Holes

Perceptual-Belief Holes are things we believe are very important to us, and they create blind spots in our ego-self, which makes us stumble further from our Spiritual Journey. They are particularly difficult because they create stubborn layers that blind us in our search for purpose, such that most people will never know they exist.

Let’s explore several categories of Perceptual-Belief Holes so that we may discover them in our ego-self.

Learned

Learning through our parents, education, media, Internet, friends, and other means is important for our personal growth. We learn about our planet and the universe, how to survive, communicate, and develop our mental functions, such as logic, memory, problem-solving, etc.

Yet it is through our learning process that we can easily fall into a perceptual-belief hole.

If, for instance, we learn that making money is important, we are likely to live a life focused on gaining as much equity as possible. You may make millions of dollars today and feel it is not enough. You may then spend considerable effort for the rest of your life by acquiring more assets. Not continuing to accumulate more assets in life will make you feel stressed and anxious.

In a more extreme case, you may not want to financially support others and become thrifty so that you can gain every penny possible. If you lose a few dollars through investments or a poor purchase, you may suffer from regret and more stress.

In another example, you may learn that knowledge is important. Perhaps acquiring knowledge fulfills the ego-self in some way, such that it makes you feel good about yourself. The pursuit of knowledge requires more brain power to manage and maintain, and the likelihood of conflicting perceptual layers will increase.

In a classic example, studies by those who position themselves as professionals will conclude that butter is better for your health than margarine. A decade later, more studies concluded that margarine is better for your health than butter. This continues to flip back and forth over many decades, and today, some will say margarine is healthier, some will say butter is healthier, some will say they are the same, and some will say neither is healthy!

If knowledge is important to you, you will likely have a strong opinion because anyone or anything that tells you that you are wrong will make you emotional and angry. You may then spend considerable effort trying to convince others and yourself that you are right.

We can apply the idea of Perceptual-Belief Holes to anything we learn to be important for ourselves, such as having power and control over others, being the best parent, being the best partner in a relationship, etc.

The more important things become, the more we become mentally involved and the more likely we will forget about the importance of our own Spiritual Journey.

Learning to humbly challenge the things you have learned in life is the first step to getting back on the path to your Spiritual Journey.

Fantasy

Creativity is a human trait that makes us rather unique on this planet. It has helped us to survive and evolve, invent tools and technology, and wonder about our existence.

For example, we once asked ourselves, what would it be like to fly? We then attempted to fly, and failed many times, before finally succeeding with a glider, which allowed us to float downwards. Naturally, we thought, what if we could fly up and down and travel afar quickly? This then led to the invention of airplanes.

This is an example of how creativity can be used to develop technology to make our lives more convenient and comfortable. Other examples include creativity to develop better medicines, better work tools, the Internet, more powerful weapons, improved communications, etc.

You may decide that creativity is a good thing. But what if we extend creativity to things that cannot be achieved or are not realistic? It creates fantasy and self-delusion.

For example, if you dream of having the best partner for a life-long relationship, you will likely find faults in others and become dissatisfied. You will then wonder what it is like to be in the most fantastic relationship. You may then put great effort into pursuing many partners with no success. As time goes by, you will feel more stress, anxiety, dissatisfaction, depression, and loneliness.

You can extend the fantasy to many things in life, such as dreaming of a perfect family, a perfect job, having millions of dollars, fulfilling your desires, etc.

But as we dream, time passes, and our Spiritual Journey is forgotten.

Not taking fantasies too seriously will help you strengthen the awareness of your Spiritual Journey.

Emotional Holes

Emotional Holes create instability in our ego-self, which forces us to act in a way that takes us on a longer Spiritual Journey. Often, these Emotional Holes are created by perceptual layers that we learn as important, perceptual layers that we fantasize about, or perceptual layers that are imposed upon us. When expectations are not met, a negative emotion arises, which makes us fall into a hole. Trying to get out of a hole drains our energy and time.

Let’s explore a few examples of Emotional Holes.

Excessive Fulfillment

The basic emotional states of hunger, thirst, pain, discomfort, sadness, and boredom serve a useful purpose for survival. There are many more, but these are some good examples. When we encounter these states, we are driven to act until we fulfill them.

Being satiated and comfortable are not problems until we seek to have more than we need. People will become overweight by eating more than they need, become addicted to smoking or alcohol to alleviate sadness and depression, or become a thrill-seeker to fight boredom.

In these examples, having more than we need pushes the threshold such that the previous fulfillment is no longer enough. For example, one might find it thrilling to go to a nightclub and ‘party’ once a week but then find that once a week is no longer giving the endorphins to fight off boredom. One might then go twice a week, then three times a week, and then start to find even more thrilling things to do. The threshold of the thrill keeps going up so that what was recently achieved is no longer enough, and boredom sets in more easily.

Develop and practice the skill of meditation to help temper your desires so you can stay focused on your Spiritual Journey.

Fear

The most common and numerous type of Emotional Hole we have comes from fear. It is also related to many emotions and perceptual layers we have.

We can learn to be fearful of bugs or snakes, and health problems from smoking, consuming too much fat, etc. These are some useful examples for survival and will help us avoid bugs or snakes that are poisonous or choose a lifestyle that does not cause disease and health complications.

What if fear caused you to hurt yourself? For example, if you were poor as a child and then became well off later in life, you may have a fear of becoming poor again. This could drive you for the rest of your life to put extra emphasis on making money, working multiple jobs, and then making compromises to your health for the sake of more money.

Fear can also prevent you from acting, such as in an abusive situation or environment. Oftentimes, without help or guidance, you may find yourself unable to move forward and resolve the situation.

Strive for an environment (such as your home, work, and people you spend time with) that helps you stay calm, so you can accelerate your Spiritual Journey.

Loss

For many reasons, we may become very dependent on certain people like parents and other family members, teachers, and partners, or we may be very attached to a material idea such as the salary amount, an expensive car, an expensive house, or owning many cars and houses.

If our salary drops or we do not have enough money to acquire and maintain material objects, we may feel a great loss. Finding another job that may bring more job satisfaction in other areas will not fulfill the feeling of loss.

The loss of the presence of a loved one or someone you depend on (e.g., through death) may cause great grief, emotional pain, and depression. When you lose such a person in life, your very foundation may crumble and fall apart, and cause other Emotional Holes to develop.

The greater the loss, the deeper the holes, and the more effort we will put into getting out of them.

Respect the temporary nature of our human lives, and you will no longer be held back from your Spiritual Journey.

Subconscious-Partner Holes

Subconscious Partner Holes can create immediate blind spots and instability in our ego-self. Because our Subconscious Partner knows everything we do (and more), we need to learn to acknowledge it, appreciate it, and work with it.

When we are ignorant of our Subconscious Partner, we generate immediate holes that give us no choice but to fall into them.

When we blindly follow whatever we feel our Subconscious Partner wants, we generate immediate holes because we give the Subconscious Partner too much power.

When we do not work with our Subconscious Partner, we are in danger of becoming enemies. We develop excessive desire and become walking zombies with the inability to think as a collective.

Let’s explore some examples to understand the immediate nature of Subconscious Partner holes.

Directives

Our human DNA gives us many directives that, if not followed, will cause our Subconscious Partner to get anxious and stressed. It will then nag you by giving you various symptoms, creating emotional states, and even trying to control your actions. On the other hand, by learning to work with your Subconscious Partner, you can decide together whether these directives are necessary and when. By doing so, you can both relax and cooperate.

We explored some basic directives in the ‘The Power of Calmness - Understanding Emotions’ and ‘Your True Life Partner - The Subconscious’ workshops, but there are some special directives that are not so obvious, such as to copulate, to develop a connection with others, and to be special. Although there are many more, we can use these high-level directives to explore how our lives can be impacted.

Copulation is necessary to breed and survive as a human species. However, with over 8.2 billion people in 2025, do we now have too many people? Indeed, it is getting very difficult to manage our planet and produce enough basic necessities such as food, water, clothing, and housing for everyone. If we continue to copulate, will we destroy our planet and reduce our chances of survival?

Connecting with others is an important survival tactic. By developing respectful relationships with others, we can support one another, resolve problems together, and advance our civilizations. This began with family and has evolved to social communities, villages, cities, and countries. In 2025, have we all forgotten this directive?

The idea of becoming special is not an obvious survival directive, but if our Subconscious Partner did not drive us in this way, we would not have idols in history, such as great philosophers, scientists, and leaders who helped to advance humankind. For those of us who are not struggling for basic necessities, what are each of us doing to contribute to our human race? Are we living our lives in a way that contributes to our human race, or are we living selfishly for our own benefit?

These special directives, if not clearly and carefully negotiated with our Subconscious Partners, will give rise to much larger holes like massive craters on our planet. They can be so big that we are not even aware we are in them.

Regularly reviewing directives with our Subconscious Partner is necessary to validate our Spiritual Path.

Trauma

Our lives are full of trauma, which are incidents that create shock or fear. The stronger the trauma, the greater the memories and feelings, and the more likely we will have automatic responses to our environment.

Think back to your earlier years - what memories would you consider to be traumatic? Many people will think of trauma related to a physical injury, accident, death, or abuse.

Any idea of revisiting a traumatic experience will generate emotional feelings that make you avoid any potential recurrence. These are lessons learned that are reinforced by your Subconscious Partner.

Let us explore some less obvious traumatic experiences in hopes of uncovering hidden trauma in our lives.

Being part of a society means you need to contribute through the common means of a job or work. Societies collectively provide medical, administrative, scientific, technological, and physical labour services. It is through a job that one earns money and can afford basic necessities and luxury.

But what job will you do? What job do you want to do? What if you change your mind later? What if the job does not give you fulfillment? What if you lose your job or the company is not stable? If you quit, will you be able to find a better job? These recurring questions in life are enough to create a lifetime of mental trauma.

To get the job you want, you will need adequate education and credentials. In a highly competitive environment, there is tremendous pressure to get high grades. For example, in Toronto in 2025, if you want to get into a good university program, you may need a grade of 95% or more. Even if you get in, you need to have high university grades to get a competitive advantage over others for an entry-level job of your choice. Many years of such pressure will likely result in growing mental trauma from the educational experience.

Whether we succeed or fail in overcoming traumatic situations, we will likely develop habits, behaviours, and a personality that affect the rest of our lives. When you experience trauma, your Subconscious Partner will remember it even better than you.

For example, if you learned that you could get the job or promotion you wanted by taking advantage of others and being unfair, you will also learn to apply that idea to other things in life and even do so without realizing it.

Another example would be sacrificing your physical health and social life to obtain the highest grades. If you can do that for a few years, you can easily hurt yourself to make more money or attain other goals.

Uncovering trauma and accepting it helps you to move on and become more conscious of your actions and thoughts with respect to your Spiritual Journey.

Where to Go From Here

We have explored many ideas, and this article is by no means complete. You can even say that the categorization of the holes is arbitrary since many ideas are interrelated. Nevertheless, these categorizations of holes were carefully selected to provide a starting point for mental organization with many examples.

The answers we want can only be found through our Spiritual Journey. We can see that our journey is greatly affected by the many holes we encounter in life. Some we fall into, some we climb out of, some we are stuck in, and some we are in and never even know.

To venture forth and develop our self-purpose, we must keep applying the lessons learned to avoid holes and to continually develop our ego-self. Only then will we get closer to the truth of our existence. Whatever you accomplish in life concerning your Spiritual Journey, it is meant to be, even if you continually fall into holes. 

In our next Worldwide Meditation Workshop, we will explore the means to avoid holes so you can continue your Spiritual Journey more quickly and definitively.