Overcoming Perceptual Illusions to Find Peace and Happiness

'Perceptual-Belief Holes' are ideas that we believe are very important to us, and make us act and behave in a way that causes suffering to ourselves and others. The sources of these holes can be learned or developed by fantasy and self-delusion. We often do not realize the impacts of the holes we fall into. They are like illusions because they are not 'real' in the material sense, but we believe them to be. We stumble into these holes through our life experiences, and when we are unaware of being in one, we create blind spots in our ego-self, which delay our Spiritual Journey.

This article will help you see more clearly how you can overcome much suffering by becoming more aware of these Perceptual-Belief holes and learning how to deal with them. We will also explore and bring clarity to the idea of 'how to have a happy relationship'.

This topic is a follow-up to the last session when Master Dao spoke about 'Finding Your Spiritual Path Through the Ego-Self'. We highly recommend you take the time to study this article as well as the past workshop on 'The Power of Clarity: Developing Awareness of our Perceptual Layers'.

Perceptual Illusions

Previously, I introduced the idea of perceptual layers that became increasingly complex as we experience life. Before we discuss Perceptual Illusions, we need to review the different types of Perceptual Layers.

Before continuing, you may want to consider studying or reviewing the previous workshop on 'The Power of Clarity: Developing Awareness of Our Perceptual Layers'.

A Review of Perceptual Layers

We start off with simple Sense-Perceptions that we naturally combine together to form Complex Perceptual Layers. The example I provided was that of an apple, or apples. Seems like a simple idea, but in reality, there are many different types of apples, each with its own set of characteristics such as shape, colour, size, taste, smell, etc.

We then evaluate Complex Perceptual Layers by experiencing them to determine if they are good or bad. This forms Evaluative Perceptual Layers in our mind. If an apple is tasty and satisfies hunger, we generally think it is good. 

We can even evaluate two or more Complex Perceptual Layers and then determine if they are better or worse. For example, we can compare a Golden Delicious apple and a Macintosh apple and decide whether we prefer one over the other. 

Finally, we have the idea of Abstract Perceptual Layers that reference many other Perceptual Layers, such as Complex, Evaluative, and Abstract Perceptual Layers. Some examples used in the past are the ideas of an honest person, a vegetarian, and a journey to Mars. As we live and experience life, we will naturally develop more Abstract Perceptual Layers.

What Are Perceptual Illusions?

A Perceptual Illusion is the belief that a particular Perceptual Layer is real, true, or a fixed idea, and that the more complex and abstract the perceptual layer is, the more illusory it is.

Let’s go back to the simpler example of an apple. Is it real? Our experiences with an apple help us to determine that it is real. We can grow apples, identify them, pick them, eat them, and then satisfy our hunger.  If you are starving and find an apple, you are likely to eat it to satiate your hunger. 

But what if it wasn’t an apple? What if it were a decorative apple made of plastic? With modern technology, it might even smell like an apple, weigh like an apple, and have the texture of an apple. So you would not even know that it is fake until you bite into it! 

Therefore, the apple was an illusion all along, and you broke through this Perceptual Illusion by realizing it is fake after attempting to eat it.

Let us now explore how Perceptual Illusions can form Perceptual-Belief Holes and impact our peace and happiness.

Evaluative Perceptual Illusions

Our mental ability to evaluate perceptual layers helps us to survive, develop preferences, and make quick decisions. Here we are talking about Evaluative Perceptual Layers that reference tangible things like apples, water, pop, proteins, fats, desks, computers, houses, cars, money, animals, Chinese race, other races, etc. We will explore intangible things like jobs, health, and happiness in the Abstract Perceptual Illusions section.

Most of us will believe that apples are good. We may also think that eating apples is better than eating a cookie or a bag of potato chips. Depending on the environment you are brought up in and are living in, you may decide that certain vegetables, fruits, meats, and dairy, etc., are important and good for your diet and well-being, while others are not as good or may even be bad.

What makes a bag of potato chips bad? You may have many sources of information that indicate that potato chips are bad, such as from parents, friends, elders, school, teachers, the Internet, etc. They might indicate that chips are bad because they contain a lot of saturated fats, calories, and salt. Yet when you eat them, your taste buds tell you it is good and to eat more!

Some may also say that potato chips contain chemicals and therefore it is bad, because chemicals are bad. Some may say that the production of potato chips is bad, or the way that the bag is produced is bad, or the way the bag is disposed of is bad, or the way they are transported to stores is bad.

People with an opinion about potato chips will then readily defend their Evaluative Perceptual Layers by referencing scientific research journals, newspapers, the Internet, and other sources. They may even get emotional about this subject.

These are all examples of Evaluative Perceptual Illusions because a bag of potato chips is not necessarily good or bad. Note that I am not promoting eating potato chips! But rather, attempting to convince you not to be so conclusive. 

To break through these Perceptual Illusions, we can observe people around us. Are there people who eat potato chips that you may consider healthy? Plenty. Why is that? Potato chips are not poisonous. It contains many nutrients that are considered useful to the body, such as carbohydrates, fats, salt, calcium, and iron.

What makes potato chips bad to eat is when your lifestyle choices do not support it, or you have a preexisting condition, such as cirrhosis. Since potato chips generally contain a lot of salt, if you do not drink sufficient fluid and also exercise, your body cannot effectively balance the body’s salt and acidic balance, which can then cause problems such as high blood pressure and bloating. 

Similarly, if you do not exercise or spend your energy, then the calories of potato chips will build up in your body as excess fat, which then causes burden on your joints and vital organs.

On the other hand, if you have a variety of foods in your diet and exercise accordingly, you may then choose to enhance your quality of life by enjoying the occasional bag of chips (assuming you like the taste of chips!). In this way, the nutrients of the chips are processed and used by your body without causing harm or damage.

How Evaluative Perceptual Illusions Create Holes and Suffering

I am Right

In the above example about chips, whether you perceive eating chips is healthy or not, probably won’t cause any suffering. But if we extend this to more and more foods over time, we limit the options of what we can and cannot eat, and this might affect the nutrients we need for our bodies to grow and maintain. For example, people may attach themselves to the ideas of Vegetarianism, Veganism, Pescatarianism, Flexitarianism, etc. They may then impose their ideas on others like family members or friends and potentially impact their health as well. Your diet is about the nutrients for your body so take the time to think about your attitudes and opinions on food - where do they come from and how does your current diet help you or not help you?

Let’s try a different example and examine a common Evaluative Perceptual Belief: Cycling is good for you. Like a bag of potato chips, cycling is an idea that is tangible. There is you, a bicycle, foot pedalling, and perceived benefits involved. It’s already a fairly complex perceptual layer!

You may not even think twice about whether cycling is good for you. You see people cycling all the time. There are plenty of science journals showing the benefits of cycling including increased blood circulation, heart and lung health, vascular endurance, etc.

Let’s try to break through this common illusion!

When people believe strongly that cycling is good, they will cycle often, and perhaps find other people who they enjoy cycling with. This perpetuates the idea that cycling is good. As people get better at cycling, they may cycle more and more, purchase more expensive bicycles, and receive many health benefits as mentioned above. Everything is great and there is pride in this activity.

Eventually one day, your knees will start to hurt. Perhaps the back and ankles as well. This will typically happen as people get older, around their 60s or 70s, but can happen much sooner depending on how they train and other lifestyle choices they make.

You may now need a week or two to recover, and once you do, you go back to cycling because it is good and you have invested so much time and money into it. It makes you feel good and you want to continue.

A couple of months later, your knees are hurting again, but this time it takes a month to recover. During this time, you see the doctor and discover that there are tears in your ligaments, or perhaps the cartilage in your knees are wearing out. You may also get physiotherapy.

Once recovered, you look forward to meeting your friends again and continue to cycle, but you experience some knee pain, weakness, or discomfort. Nevertheless, it’s what you do and take pride in for your health, so you force yourself to continue.

A year later, your knees become very painful. You see the doctor once more and you discover that your cartilage is almost completely worn out. The doctor says you cannot cycle any more without replacing your cartilage with a synthetic and that there is no guarantee your body will accept it.

You are now feeling sad. It might too expensive for surgery. You have no other skills to fall back on for exercise, and you cannot even go for a jog or walk. Meanwhile, you are losing muscle mass and gaining weight quickly because you are no longer exercising the way you used to.

This example is curated carefully to provide a means understand how evaluative perceptual layers can develop and change over time.

Others are Wrong

Since Evaluative Perceptual Layers are developed through experience, and what we experience in life is unique, we will naturally have differing opinions.

The Perceptual-Belief Holes are created immediately when we assume that our opinions are conclusively right and differing opinions are wrong. If we are ignorant or unaware of this, it is a matter of time before we fall into one.

Your reaction to the example of the bag of potato chips above could have been either one of agreement or disagreement. If you believed strongly that potato chips are bad, you may still feel very negative about it and argue with someone and become emotional. This can escalate and become an even bigger problem - no one is happy, distrust or feelings of disconnectedness occur, and everyone suffers. Now you’ve fallen into a deep hole and find it hard to get out of because you are unwilling to change your Evaluative Perceptual Layer.

Or you may have been convinced that potato chips are not bad as long as your lifestyle supports it. If everyone agrees, then no holes are created to fall into. There is no argument and you become supportive of each other by remind each other to exercise regularly in order to ‘earn that bag of chips’.

Although we used a relatively simple example, we can apply this to many perceptual layers that we continue to develop as we experience life. If we create holes for every Evaluative Perceptual Layer, and we can easily develop hundreds and thousands over time. That’s a lot of holes! Trying to keep watch of all these holes and avoiding them is exhausting. 

Likely we regularly fall into these holes, and therefore cause regular suffering to ourselves and to others.

Here are some examples of evaluative perceptual layers you can think about. Do they create holes for you?

1. Eating meat is good/bad.
2. Eliminating carbohydrates from your diet is good/bad.
3. Anything made of plastic is good/bad.
4. Wearing clothing made of real fur is good/bad.
5. Drinking 2 litres of water a day is good/bad.
6. Having a house is good/bad.
7. Having a life partner is good/bad.
8. Having kids is good/bad.
9. Having a car is good/bad.
10. A particular sports team is the best/worst.
11. A particular computer game is good/bad.
12. A particular music is good/bad.
13. Paying taxes is good/bad.

What can we do about these holes? How can we cover them up? We will explore this later.

Abstract Perceptual Illusions

Abstract Perceptual Layers are intangible ideas and can reference hundreds of other perceptual layers.

If you think an apple is bad, it is still an abstract idea. We can say it’s a low-level abstraction because it contains a tangible object and an evaluation. The Abstract Perceptual Layers we are exploring here are much more loosely defined ideas such as:

Apples are nutritious, 

You can survive eating only apples,

Giving an apple to someone makes you a caring person, or

Martial artists must eat an apple a day

But enough of apples! Let’s try a different and more complex example:

“My relationship with my partner is great / terrible”

By partner I mean someone who you live with and are building a life and/or family with. So it doesn’t count if you are not living together or it’s a short-term fling. You have to be serious about the idea of being together and have experienced it for some time (let’s say at least a year).

I chose this example because most people will have experienced this or is currently in one.  Let’s continue exploring and assume that you are currently in a serious relationship.

If you have never experienced this, then think of it as early training for ‘having a happy relationship’. If you have had a long term relationship in the past, you can use a point in time where you felt the relationship was great or terrible.

Firstly, I would like you to think about whether your relationship with your partner is good or bad.

Secondly, I would like you to think about whether this idea is an Abstract Perceptual Layer and why it is so (explore the many other perceptual layers that it references).

Take your time and then continue.

-

It’s time to dive into this Abstract Perceptual Layer, and perhaps we can break through this illusion!

At the very top of this Abstract Perceptual Layer are other Abstract Perceptual Layers:

• My Relationship
• My Partner
• Great / Terrible

We can further break these layers down into:

• My
• Relationship
• Partner
• Great
• Terrible

These are in fact high-level abstract ideas and each will involve many, even hundreds and thousands of other perceptual layers! The events you experience in life contribute to your perceptual layers.

My

Let’s examine the “My / Mine'“ perceptual layer. This idea implies ownership and association and is one of the first Abstract Perceptual Layers that we learn. What is one of the first things we own? It might be a teething toy also known as a pacifier, or it could be your fingers that you sucked on instinctively.

As a baby, we learn that there are things that are given to us or we can acquire it from our environment. For example you may grab onto some object nearby and then cry if it were taken away from you. You may not even know what that object is but you do know you can acquire it. 

As we get older, we learn to obtain more tangible things like clothing, food, and toys. You learn to share toys with the condition you get it back because it’s yours. 

If you are poor relative to others growing up, you may place a greater significance on the idea of “my”. Scarcity brings emotional stress, and repeatedly, it generates many perceptual layers that drives you to not be poor (or driving you to be wealthy, materialistic, and more selfish). 

If you are well off, you may experience abundance, in which case you may find yourself sharing and giving things to others. Because you have lots of everything, you may develop many perceptual layers associated with the ideas of ‘Us’ which reduces the emotional association of ‘My’. 

So for most people, the idea of ‘My’ implies ownership. This is my house, my computer, my money, etc.

These are just examples and your environment will affect and continue to affect the ideas of ‘My’. 

As we develop more intangible abstract layers, we may own very complex ideas. Here are some examples:

• My life
• My future
• My relationship
• My partner
• My personality
• My goals
• My luck
• etc.

The exploration of ‘My’ will now help you to realize that these examples are Abstract Perceptual Layers that are combined with other Abstract Perceptual Layers. How complex!

If you dive into these Abstract Perceptual Layers, you will be swimming at the surface and find it very difficult to see into the deep waters.

My Relationship

I mentioned earlier that ‘My’ and ‘Relationship’ are both Abstract Perceptual Layers.

Let us briefly explore the idea of ‘Relationship’ in the context of owning it.

The earliest relationships you will have will be with your family. By learning from your parents and living with them and your siblings (if any), you will develop many perceptual layers of what it means to have a relationship. This will include ideas of social interaction, emotional responses, and specific memories.

As you get older, you will experience relationships with other people - friends, teachers, romantic relationships, pets, etc. All of these contribute to the idea of ‘My Relationship’.

My Partner

The idea of ‘My Partner’ extends the ‘My Relationship’ perceptual layer to a specific person. It also includes the abstract idea of ‘Partner’. For some people, a partner is lifelong, for others it may temporary. It may also change with time and experience.

Likely, you will have many more perceptual layers associated with ‘My Partner’, and may include any or all of the following:

Relationship advice from parents, stories, movies, television shows, internet articles,etc.

Experience with prior relationships that did not work out in the long run

Experience with prior relationships that ended abruptly not by choice for either partner (death, leaving the country, etc.)

Emotional perceptual layers from your experiences with any of the above

The experiences of your friends and family and their partners

All these will shape the Abstract Perceptual Layer of ‘My ideal partner’ which can then implied as part of ‘My partner’. 

My Great or Terrible Partner

This idea extends the idea of ‘My Partner’ with an Evaluative Perceptual Layer that has a perceived conclusion of whether your partner is great or terrible. It compares what you think your ideal partner is with what you know about a great partner. That evaluation results in the Evaluative Perceptual Layer of ‘great’ and ‘terrible’.

Likely what you perceive as great or terrible comes from your past relationship experiences, and what you learn from various sources such as your parents, friends, television, Internet, and books.

But the ideas of ‘great and terrible’ are also Abstract Perceptual Layers. The more ‘great’ experiences you have, the less ‘great’ it will be because it will seem more normal. This could then raise the bar for what you perceive as great in relation to your partner.

To illustrate this, consider that you think your partner is great because he/she cooks for you. You are proud of this because maybe you think that many other people do not have partners that does this. Later you discover that all of your friends also have partners that cook for them. What you once considered great is now expected or normal. 

Furthermore, if you felt proud or competitive about having the ‘best partner’, you may find yourself demanding more from your partner in order to regain the ‘best partner’ status.

Suffering Due to the Illusion of an Abstract Perceptual Layer

Let’s return to the original idea that “My relationship with my partner is great / terrible” and try to understand where the illusions are. For the purpose of this segment, we will assume that your relationship with your partner is terrible.

Firstly, this idea is assuming that you are correct in your current assessment. If you think your relationship is terrible, you will get more and more upset with everything your partner does (and does not do) because your expectations are not met. You may also think you ‘own’ your partner. People will often say, “You are mine”. But is that person really yours? 

Secondly, this ideas suggests permanence. Once you’ve made the conclusion and you do not challenge it, then you will not be impressed even if your partner does something that meets your expectations. This will further cause tension between you.

Thirdly, this idea creates resentment. What you once thought was a perfect partner is no longer meeting your requirements. You will feel hurt and lash out at your partner.

Fourthly, this idea creates an escalating cycle of separation. Resentment will cause your partner to also feel resentment, which increases your resentment, and this continues until both parties must reconcile or else separate. 

This cycle of resentment and suffering may occur over many months and years. Eventually you feel alienated from your partner, and you will both have suffered with anxiety, stress, anger, and many other negative feelings. 

You wonder why you got together in the first place and how this came to be. How can both parties be right? How can both parties want this?

As you ponder, you suddenly realize that you are in a massive “Perceptual-Belief Hole'“.  You’ve put so much energy and time into digging this hole for yourself that you’ve completely forgotten about your Spiritual Journey. How do you get out of it? 

Breaking Through the Illusion of an Abstract Perceptual Layer to Prevent or Resolve Suffering

The majority of suffering we experience is due to our tendency to create Abstract Perceptual Layers and then not challenge them regularly. 

Here is a step-by-step approach that can help:

Explore the top layers of an Abstract Perceptual Layer

Identify Evaluative Perceptual Layers

Challenge and rebuild your perceptual layers

We will now attempt this approach to the idea of ‘My relationship with my partner is terrible ‘.

Step 1 - Exploring the Top Layers of an Abstract Perceptual Layer

At first we want to examine the higher level layers of an Abstract Perceptual Layer. If we can resolve things at this level, it saves us quite a bit of time and reduces complexity. However, if we are unable to prevent or resolve suffering then we will need to put more time and effort to explore lower levels of perceptual layers.

We have already done the ground work to uncover some of the layers of the relationship example:

• My
• My relationship
• My partner
• My terrible partner

You are welcome to examine these further or find new perceptual layers to explore.

Step 2 - Identifying Evaluative Perceptual Layers

We want to highlight Evaluative Perceptual Layers and track them because that is what causes us suffering. 

These are more sneaky than it appears. Generally the idea of ‘terrible’ comes from evaluating your partner with your expectations. Every time your partner does something (or does not do something) where your expectation is not met, you will feel angry, upset, or unappreciated. 

You can uncover many of such layers by identifying ideas of fairness, happiness, ownership, desires, and rules.

Here are some more Evaluative Perceptual Layers that may be worth identifying:

I will be happy if my partner washes the dishes.

It is unfair that I am doing more housework than my partner.

It is unfair that I am doing less housework than my partner.

It is not okay that I am the only one contributing financially.

My partner needs to do more housework.

My partner needs to do a better job of washing the dishes.

My partner does not talk to me enough.

My partner works too much.

My partner wants me to make more money.

My partner wants me to do more housework.

My partner expects me to have dinner ready after work.

My partner must agree with me all the time.

I want others to be envious of my relationship.

Every couple will no doubt have their own set of expectations. Take the time to think of yours.

Step 3 - Challenge and Rebuild Your Perceptual Layers

It is time to challenge the Evaluative Perceptual Layers you have identified. This means asking yourself:

Why do I have this perceptual layer? Can I get rid of it?

If the answer is yes, you have to very certain that it is no longer needed. For example, if you felt that it is unfair for you to do more housework than your partner, you may realize now that you are working as a team and you have different contributions to the relationship that better measured by effort. Or, you may conclude that the best way to support your partner is to do most of the housework because your partner needs to put energy into financially supporting the family. Or, you may come to realize that your expectations are put upon you by others and is no longer relevant.

If the answer is no, is there a way to change the Evaluative Perceptual Layer so is not so conclusive? For example, if you feel it is unfair that you have to financially support your family by working many hours and still have to to housework, you may try changing this to ‘It is important to work hard to financially support the family and spend an hour or two every weekend to do housework.” For this to work, you have to be confident that this is indeed important. Reflect on answer to questions that support this overriding Evaluative Perceptual Layer.

However, if the answer is still no then it means you are taking a hard stance and you will continue to build anxiety, stress, and tension until you can communicate and resolve this with your partner. 

Relationship advice is beyond the scope of this article. Clearly, regular communication with your partner is very important to build and maintain a happy relationship. If your partner is unwilling to communicate with you then it is time to prepare yourself mentally and plan accordingly. 

What this article attempts to do is make it clearer about how you evaluate your relationship, what is important to you, and this sets the basis for fruitful communication.

Finding Peace and Happiness Through Evolving Perceptual Layers

It takes a lot of effort to explore Abstract Perceptual Layers and to challenge them. However, if we don’t put the time and effort into this, we will almost certainly fall into holes and spend considerably more time and effort in trying to get out of them. 

Here are some more Abstract Perceptual Layers you can explore:

• Working for a particular company is good/bad.
• Having a particular job is good/bad.
• A particular martial art is better than another.
• Electronics are good/bad.
• A particular human race is good/bad.
• A particular religion is good/bad.
• A particular sports team is good/bad.
• Delusions of fairness in housework responsibilities
• Playing computer games is good/bad.
• I identify as a male/female.
• I am a good person.
• I am an honest person.
• I am an unselfish person.
• Abortion is good/bad.
• Being wealth is good/bad.
• Having power is good/bad.
• Vaccines are good/bad.
• Pedestrians and cyclists do or do not have to follow traffic laws.
• Animals have emotions
• Wearing animal fur is good/bad.
• We are destroying our planet
• Animal extinction is bad
• Everyone wants happiness
• Pollution is bad
• A particular political party is good/bad.
• A particular type of government is good/bad.
• Delusions of how others feel
• Delusions of how others should feel
• Delusions of what others want
• Delusions of what others need

Alternatively, by working hard at resolving your illusions, and doing away and simplifying many Abstract Perceptual Layers, you can then put your effort into ensuring you have loosely defined perceptual layers than can evolve with time and your environment. This is a great skill that no doubt many Zen/Chan masters will have.

So therefore, work hard to discover holes, to get out of holes, and to avoid them, so you can continue and further your Spiritual Journey!